Montreal to Fredericton is an eight hour drive.  Quebec’s ice-scarred highway runs into the smooth double lane bliss of New Brunswick.  My Mom and I listen to Dan Carlin’s Hardcore History, a thought-provoking three hour podcast about the decision to use nuclear weapons in World War II, which is more interesting than it sounds (especially after our recent visit to the Diefenbunker).  It’s a smooth, uneventful drive east, although more and more snow appears on the hills that bracket the highway.  New Brunswick, PEI and Nova Scotia got nailed with the worst winter in living memory.  Everyone we meet tells us about it, shows us pictures, and is obviously relieved it is finally over.  In Fredericton, I take my Mom to see the Dali masterpiece, and the Santiago el Grande delivers its magic.  We pop into the Lunar Rogue, which offers over 300 whiskeys (described in a “bible” that defies description, see Gallery above), and I give a talk at the local Chapters.  Onwards to Saint John, for a booksigning, polar bear dip, and a fascinating visit to the Jewish Historical Museum, and Moncton, where Magnetic Hill was closed due to snow.  Without being able to see it, my Mom still doesn’t believe the car rolls uphill (it does).  Our Moncton accommodation is in the new Sheraton Four Points, a welcome option if you’re visiting.    Best line from a local in New Brunswick:  “The Nova Scotia Tourism guys should give its annual award to the New Brunswick Highway Authority!”   You simply won’t find better roads in the country, but the Bucket List has proven there are plenty of attractions in New Brunswick along the way.

There’s plenty of sea ice floating beneath the Confederation Bridge as we make our crossing on a crystal blue day, a welcome return the Gentle Island.   Snow and rust-red earth had yet to turn Prince Edward Island’s countryside into the lush green hues I know from my summer visits.  I’m reminded how different places look in different seasons.  We head straight to the famous Water-Prince Corner Shop to feast on a lobster dinner, rejoicing that they’d opened for the season just the day before our arrival.  I host a hilarious trivia night at my favourite pub The Churchill Arms, awarding prizes I’ve picked up along my journey, including a Voyageur scarf from Winter Carnaval in Quebec, Roughrider mittens from Saskatchewan and water bottles from Banff-Lake Louise.  A book signing at the local Chapters, and blessed with a sunny day, I take my Mom to Prince Edward Island National Park, with the incredible Gulfshore Parkway practically deserted before tourism season kicks in.   We gaze over the red cliffs at Orby Head, explore Cavendish, pop into the Dunes Gallery dusting off its wares after the long winter, and hear how the snow was piled up so high locals had to dig tunnels to their doorways.  I also learn from my new friends atBookmark on Queen Street that The Great Atlantic Canada Bucket List fills a niche, with nothing else on the shelves like it.   I celebrate with a taster flight of a dozen brews from Gahan House.

Back across the Link, and now we’re in Nova Scotia, which instantly seems wilder and more untamed than the farmland of PEI.   We roll into Halifax just in time to tape a segment with CTV’s Jayson Baxter at Garrison’s Brewery.   It’s the second taster flight in 12 hours and not a pip of a complaint from me.  Opposite the craft brewery is the grand Westin Nova Scotian, one of the original CPR Hotels with hallways bigger than highway tunnels.  We drop our bags and head out for a lovely walk on the waterfront, locals in shorts and sandals already, on what we’re told is the first true day of spring.  We’ve been bringing the weather with us, all the way from Vancouver.    The next day,  Ford gathers some of the city’s most dazzling lifestyle bloggers for me to wine and dine at the fabulousOcean Stone Seaside Resort near Peggy’s Cove.   We learn to shuck huge oysters, sip back sparkling pink Nova 7, and after a decadent lunch (lobster-stuffed chicken breast!) I give my final presentation about the importance of journeys.  One of my key points is that a journey is only as important as the people you share it with.    Illustrated beautifully by the afternoon’s visit to Peggy’s Cove and Lunenburg.

Last time I was here, the sky was muted, a dull grey failing to light up the wonder of these Nova Scotian marvels.  This time, I’m with my Mom, the sun is shining, and she’s beaming on the rocks next to the iconic lighthouse, and exploring the grid streets of Lunenburg.  The memorials of the Swissair Flight 111, which crashed near Peggy’s Cove with the cost of 229 lives, and the list of vessels and people that drowned off the coast of Nova Scotia, is a telling reminder to enjoy these special moments.  Having spent 12 days with my Mom crossing the country, she has proved to be a friendly roadie, fun travelling companion, and proud promoter of the Canadian Bucket List.  Not to mention a doting Mom.    With two book signings in Halifax, a steady stream of people arrived to chat and talk about the book, having seen me on TV or my profile in the Halifax Chronicle.   Many told me their own stories of exploring Canada, or ticking off their Bucket List.

A final hop to the Rock – St John’s Newfoundland, looking out over the port from our room at the Sheraton, exploring the jellybean houses the likes my Mom had never seen.  We shopped for gifts on Duckworth and Water Street, had a delicious lunch at the Rooms, watched Irish music at Shamrock City (my Mom ordered tea in the Irish bar. I’m surprised the musicians didn’t fall off the stage).  Hopes for an iceberg tour were dashed by poor weather, this being Canada’s windiest and foggiest city. The plane over was not fast enough to bring our weather system, for the teeth in St John’s icy wind cut right through us.  I signed some books and that’s a wrap! We’d travelled 7500 kilometres promoting the joys and wonders of Canada, meeting t hundreds of peoples across a dozen events, not to mention in the many restaurants and activities we popped in along the way.   The Great Canadian Bucket Listsold out its 5th print run, and according to Amazon, we’re sold out the first batch of The Great Atlantic Canada Bucket List too.  Don’t worry, more is on the way.  As for my own Bucket List:   I got to drive a Mustang, visit an urban castle, surf in a river, polar dip in the Bay of Fundy, and show my Mom some of the most incredible spots on Canada.  Tick!

The 2015 Bucket List Tour is finally here. After ticking off 18 cities in 2013, this time I pick up in Toronto and head east east east, all the way to St John’s Newfoundland before a final talk in Vancouver. Click here for dates, venues and times. Joining me is the most able roadie I know, my Mom! For the first leg, Ford Canada graciously provided ahot blue Mustang. Because everyone should travel across Canada with their mother in a Mustang!

The first event was at MEC Toronto. Right after that, I met some lovely Toronto bloggers for a talk at the Toronto Archives, and a visit to Casa Loma to see if it is indeed bucket list-worthy. First time I saw the huge medieval castle, I couldn’t believe it! Dozens of visits to the city and I had no idea it existed. It was built by Henry Pellatt, the city’s richest man back in 1911. 96 rooms, no expense spared, just for him and his wife. Needless to say, the guy ended up in financial ruin. We got a site tour, including the underground tunnels now refashioned with images of Toronto’s dark past (plague! fire!). I also recognized the hallway from the X-Men movies. Geek note: X-Men will also appear later in the blog post as well. Casa Loma is bizarre, unique, fascinating and memorable…definitely a new chapter for Canada’s Bucket List.

From Toronto, I did a talk at the Sandford Fleming College in a small town called Lindsay. A couple years ago I received an email asking me if I could stop by to give a talk to help raise funds for the local segment of the Trans Canada Trail. Glad I could! Fantastic turnout in a lecture hall at the college, lovely people, and a passionate commitment to this Bucket List trail. My Mom and I spent the night on a farm outside of town with the kind of people that make Canada the place it is. Click here to learn more about the Trans-Canada Trail.

I’ve never driven a muscle car before, and as a skinny guy, the muscle felt great. I felt like hunting a Prius on the highway. I had a 6 speed manual transmission, bucket seats, and a dashboard that lit up like the Starship Enterprise. My Mom called the Mustang Sally, of course. A sweet ride. We’re swapping Sally out for a hot red Focus in Ottawa for the rest of the drive.

Before arriving in Ottawa, I returned to the Diefenbunker to meet with some local bloggers and media and introduce them to this quirky, historically bonkers chapter in the book. I appeared on CTV Morning News in Ottawa, gave a quick presentation to some lovely folks at the Ministry of Tourism, stopped off for a book signing at theChapters-Indigo on Rideau, and gave an evening presentation in the offices of World Expeditions (who have created guided and self-guided itineraries for many experiences in my books through their Great Canadian Trails division). Never a dull moment on tour!

Starwood Hotels have been my generous hotel sponsor for the tour. An amazing room overlooking Lake Ontario from the Westin Harbour Castle in Toronto, a bucket list view from my room on the 22nd floor at the Westin Ottawa, and tranquil room in the Le Meridien Versailles overlooking Sherbrooke Avenue in Montreal. With this much racing around, I need more than just a comfortable bed and hot shower at the end of the day. I need an inspired ambiance. Well played Starwood, well played. I signed up for their SPG Program, as should you.

In Montreal, I got to tick off another bucket list item: surfing on the standing wave of the St Lawrence River. There’s only one other major city in the world that has anything remotely like this (Munich) and let’s face it, Munich is not Montreal. After snacking on Schwartz’s and poutine, Ford arranged for me to visit KSF Surf School with some fetching local bloggers to learn how to surf a river wave. As with most things in life, it’s a lot harder than it looks. The river flushed me through the waves, but snug in a 3mm wetsuit, it was awesome just to be in the water, with good company, on a beautiful spring day. A Bucket List is only as special as the people you share it with, and the five of us (led by guides Luka and Hugo) had a memorable Montreal adventure. I also appeared on Breakfast TV Montreal.

After an eight hour drive, we arrived in Fredericton, New Brunswick! The highways of New Brunswick are legendary, and even though I left the Mustang behind in Montreal, the Ford Focus Hatchback ate up the black-top with no problem whatsoever. I have to run to the first of eight events in Atlantic Canada events, so this is where I leave you for now.

Rockwater Secret Cove, BC

It was a stormy, cold night when I arrived at Rockwater Secret Cove, so I appreciated the heated slate floors, glowing fireplace, terry cloth robes and hydrotherapy soaker tub.   All the more so because I was staying in a tent, and these are not things one normally associates with tent accommodation.  Located on the Sunshine Coast, Rockwater’s tent accommodations sit off a wooden boardwalk , illuminated at night like a runway, with beautiful views of the Malaspina Strait.

Spicers Canopy, Australia

An hour and half from Brisbane, Splicers Canopy offers glampers a back-to-nature experience atop a plateau, and an 8000-acre private reserve.   Accommodating 20 guests, each tent has king size beds with fine linen, polished floorboards, luxurious armchairs and covered deck.   Gourmet meals are included, as are guided walkabouts into the Main Range National Park.  Dining is communal, taking places around a large stone fireplace, under stars sparkling above the clear air of the plateau.    

Three Camel Lodge, Mongolia

Perhaps the most exotic destination for today's glamper, the Three Camel Lodge is an environmentally sustainable development built in Mongolia’s Gobi Desert.  Accommodation comes in the form of luxury gers, the traditional circular tents used by Mongolian nomads. Felt and canvas cover a wooden frame that can be dismantled easily, with a wood stove keeping everyone warm in the middle.  Three Camel’s gers have handpainted furniture, a private bathroom, king size beds, and Mongolian style bathrobes and slippers.  The lodge features a restaurant, and Dino House, built in the style of a traditional temple, for evening entertainment.  

Mataveri International Airport, Easter Island, Chile
Airport Code:  IPC

Widely regarded as the world’s most remote airport, Mataveri is 3759 kilometres away from the nearest airport, in Santiago, Chile.    For all its isolation, the airport does do brisk traffic, thanks to tourists arriving from Santiago, Tahiti and Lima primarily to see the famed stone heads that mysteriously guard the island.   Easter Island is perhaps the world’s most remote inhabited island, so stands to reason its airport makes the list.  With an asphalt runway serving 737’s, the airport was also an abort site during the space shuttle program.  

St Helena Airport, British Overseas Territory
Airport Code:  TBA

When construction is complete, the South Atlantic island of St Helena will boast one of the world’s most remote civilian airports, more than 2000 kilometres from the nearest landmass.   The island is actually the centre of three British Overseas Territories, which are easily accessible should you happen to own a superpowered submarine.  Ascension Island is only 1,300 kilometres north, while Tristan da Cunha is 2,400 kilometres south.    Some 4255 people live on St Helena, with all food, equipment and supplies arriving by boat, which is expected to be retired in 2016 when the airport is complete. 

Cuba

The weather’s always great in Cuba. A little hot perhaps, but there’s always a beach nearby.  With direct flights from Toronto to Havana, Canada is the number one tourist market with the largest island in the Caribbean, with over a million Canadians landing every year.   Many of us are happy to laze away in an all-inclusive bubble, but popping it for a couple days will reveal a country in transition with itself and its history.   Old Havana is being restored, excellent musicians seem to never stop playing Guantanamera, the rum is first rate, and the food is improving.    Cuba is on the verge of a complete transformation, and if you've never been, now's the time to go.  Cigar in hand, of course. 

Paris

Paris in Spring Time.   Three words, and you can smell the warm baguette, taste the Bordeaux, see a mime’s heartbreak on the banks of the Seine.   Cole Porter and Nina Hagen musical tributes notwithstanding, the Capital of Romance is most alive in spring, when new relationships find their mark and old passions are reawakened.    Unfortunately, spring is such a popular time of year, it signals the start of high season, and all the costs that come with it. The Spring Traveller never puts a price on love.   But the Spring Traveller doesn’t have to stick around too long to get his or her fix either.  

Yosemite National Park

What I love most about Yosemite National Park is that there are geologists who believe the oldest national park in the United States is in fact a super volcano getting ready to explode and obliterate half the country with it.  So the Spring Traveller best strap on the hiking boots and get a move on, while the waterfalls are at their finest and the summer crowds are still at bay.   With ice and snow melting, the rivers and creeks are flush as the forest reawakens.   There’s magic to see at Yosemite Falls and Cook’s Meadow, but if it’s still a little too chilly, the Spring Traveller can always head south for warmer climes.   Who knows, one day the super volcano might blow. But rest assured, the Spring Traveller will be well out of harms way. 

Ottawa

Our national capital flaunts the gifts of a Dutch princess each spring with its own world renowned Tulip Festival.   600,000 visitors swing by the “Tulip Capital of North America”, as the Big Freeze relinquishes its hold on a grateful population.     The best places to see the tulips each year are from Parliament Hill, Commissioners Park or along the paths of the Rideau Canal.   In early spring Ottawa also hosts a Maple Sugar Festival, for those who like their spring sweet.    While the Spring Traveller is not averse to chasing beaver tail, the next destination looks even further to towards the north.  

The Baltics

The Baltic States of Latvia, Lithuania and Estonia are sweet discoveries for the Spring Traveller.  The capital cities of Riga, Vilnius and Tallinn have medieval old towns to rival any in Western Europe, and beautiful countryside to explore too.   Shops and boutiques sell fantastic art, clothing and unique knick-knacks, while each country boasts a nightlife with everything from old school drinking holes to the latest in club warfare.   The Spring Traveller is not afraid to trip off the beaten path, for true beauty and adventure has a habit of showing itself in the unlikeliest of places.  

Victoria

Victorians are very proud of their Butchart Gardens, as well they should be.   Gardening is a tasteful affair, and spring is the ticket.    With summer crowds yet to arrive, the Spring Traveller can enjoy the best of the gardens, followed by high tea in one of the city’s excellent teahouses.   Keeping within the genteel nature of the visit, roam amongst the Butterfly Gardens, or wander down Antique Row or Mile Zero.    The Spring Traveller enjoys distinctive elegance, and the allure of old world charm.   As for the not too distant cousin Spring Breaker, well, he’s chugging buckets of beer with the rest of the kids in Cancun. 

The Figa

I grew up in South Africa, and if anyone ever placed their thumb between their index and middle finger, they were telling you, in no uncertain terms, what you should go do with yourself.  It was even worse than the bird (which I’ll get to later).   So imagine my surprise to see the figa, or fig, worn around necks, painted on walls, and hanging from walls in Portugal!  It turns out that the figa is an ancient Roman symbol used for good luck, and to ward away evil spirits.  It’s also, coincidentally, the letter T in American Sign Language.   Yet because of its physical appearance, resembling a sexualized vagina, some countries including Indians, Italians, Turks, Russians, and certainly South Africans take it as a definitive insult.    So while you may want to wish your Portuguese friends good luck with a figa ornament, you might want to make sure it’s not for those at a South African wedding.   

The Corna

“Hail Satan!”  Or perhaps: “Rock on, Dude!”  Or maybe just:  “Go University of Texas!” A clenched fist with the index and fifth finger pointing skywards, you’ll see the Corna at most heavy metal and hard rock concerts, an almost universal sign to rock!   Growing up, I remember a certain taboo with the sign since it definitely had some sort of Satanic connotations, appearing as it does in the Satanic Bible.  However in Austin, at the University of Texas, the Corna is known as “hook-em horns”, used to cheer on the Longhorns, resembling their mascot, a longhorn steer. 

The V Sign

V is for Victory! V is for peace, man!    Or, if your palm is inwards, V is for something else entirely, depending on where you are, of course.   In the UK, or other English speaking countries, the palm inwards is an insult not unlike the bird (which we’ll get too soon enough).  Confusion was caused by Winston Churchill, who used both front and back V’s during the war before he was told of their correct and appropriate usage.   Stick your nose between the fingers, and Italians will get your point too.   Also, expect something to be lost in translation should a Canadian deaf person order two drinks at an English pub.   

Thumbs Up

According to sources, here’s a hand sign that is particularly sensitive to culture and location.   We know it as “go for it!” or “awesome!” or “hey buddy, can I grab a ride somewhere?”   In the Middle East,  Latin America and West Africa however, you’re basically flipping the bird (which I’ll get to I promise).    We probably developed its western connotation from pilots during World War II, and surprisingly it appears there is no evidence it was used during gladiator fights in Ancient Rome.     But it’s best to avoid using the thumbs up in countries like Afghanistan or Nigeria, where it is used, you guessed it, as a substitute for the middle finger. 

The Five Finger Scrunch

Israelis use it for just about everything, but other cultures along the Med are familiar with it as well.   Scrunch your fingers together, turn your palm upwards, and you get a hand signal that means, well, anything you want it to mean.   “Wait a minute.” “Hurry up!”   “Relax!”  There’s an element of frustration in the gesture, but like many of the others mentioned, it manages to transcend language, communicating with fingers what words do not.  

The Animal

Palm down, point four fingers at a Korean, and you get a hand symbol steeped in inter-cultural warfare and hatred.  The Japanese were known to use this symbol to regard their Korean enemies as “animals”.    No word if Koreans responded with the forearm jerk. 

The Forearm Jerk

Leaving the middle finger closed for a change, this insult simply requires the left hand on the folded right arm, and the right fist extended skywards.  Slapping the hand down adds to the insult, which is perfectly understandable the world over, regardless of what language is spoken.   

The Finger

The Bird.  The Flip Sign.  The Zap.  The unholy middle finger!   There are various theories as to its origins, but the one I like best dates back to the 100 Year War in Europe.   See, archers were quite deadly in those days, using their middle fingers to release arrows from their long bows.   If captured, it was practice for the English (or French, depending on who you believe) to chop off the middle finger of the archer, unloading their weapon if you will.   Archers that escaped, or just felt cocky, would raise their middle finger to taunt and insult their enemies, and today we follow their lead.  There’s also a theory that it evolved form Ancient Greece, relating as it does to the phallus (much like most hand insults).   Regardless of its origins, the bird is probably the most universally understood hand sign, although in some Arab and Mediterranean countries the index finger is used instead.  

The Vulcan Salute

OK, this isn’t really a hand sign (for this planet anyway), but its origins are interesting enough.   Palm forward, fingers split between the middle and ring fingers, thumb out.  Leonard Nimoy, the late actor who played Dr. Spock (RIP), is credited as inventing the Vulcan Salute, although he actually saw it used as a boy one day in his grandfather’s synagogue.  It is used by the Jewish priestly class, the Kohanim, the symbolize the Hebrew letter shin in a way that symbolizes the name of God.   A good enough reason as any I should think to live long and prosper.   

Like many Vancouverites, I was born and raised on a different continent.   I am asked, almost daily, why I choose to live here out of all the cities in the world - especially since I seem to have visited a heck of a lot of them.   This post is a great excuse to reveal my personal discoveries behind Canada’s third largest, and easily most fetching, city. 

The first thing that hits you is the air.   It tastes pure.  It smells like a glacier.  It’s like toothpaste for your lungs.    With all the pollution and traffic found in any major city (and the yellow fog that settles over the Fraser Valley is no exception), Vancouverites still get that wonderful fresh onshore breeze, and crisp mountain air.   One day they might bottle it, along with our water, which is cleaner and tastier than bottled brands anyway. 

A lifestyle city means, simply:  one doesn't have to earn as much to do as much.   By doing, I refer to the beaches in summer, the mountains in winter, and the sea and parks across all seasons.   Meanwhile, Vancouver gets a lot of slack for its lack of culture, and yet every week there’s theatre and live music and exhibitions and galleries and festivals and all the things those people who complain about “lack of culture” don’t go see anyway.    Yet culture, as anyone who lives in New York can testify, costs a great deal of money.  A walk on Stanley Park’s seawall, in the expansive UBC Endowment Lands, on the mountain trails of the North Shore or the paths along the Fraser River, is free of charge.   Whatever your age, whatever your budget, with a pair of walking shoes and a love of nature, there’s always something to do.

It’s not just the mere diversity of restaurants in Vancouver  - where neighbourhood streets can resemble the world’s best Food Court - it’s the overall quality and affordability that makes dining in Vancouver world-class.   The offers the world’s best sushi, period.  Indian, Thai, Malaysian, Mexican, Turkish, Greek, Italian, Ethiopian, Jamaican, Korean, African, and of course Chinese cuisines are well represented, across budget ranges.  West Coast fusion, fine dining - hipsters, yuppies, students and vegetarians are in foodie heaven. My favourite restaurant: Jambo Grill on Kingsway. 

It might be mid-January, and I’ll be out with friends wearing a thin hoodie on a wet winter night.   Some people prefer the freeze to rain.   Some people live in the desert.  We’re a wet city, but we’re not a cold city, certainly when compared to the rest of Canada.   I like not wearing too many layers.  I like feeling my nose, and not worrying about my eyes freezing over.   I like taking a walk in a forest when it rains, like a Hobbit on a quest for adventure.   Constant drizzle occasionally gets annoying, but it comes with warmer temperatures that locals very much appreciate.  Our seasons are clearly defined with the passage of time, our sunsets mesmerizing. 

Vancouverites themselves are like their weather: famously mild.   Neither hot headed nor cool tempered,  we seem to be very busy, although hardly in a rush.  We won’t stop you in the street and ask you for tea, but maybe that’s because it’s raining and nobody wants to get wet.   There’s a certain amount of reliability that comes with Vancouverites – their outrage at scandal, their upbeat humour on a sunny day, their time-bomb potential to riot if a rock concert is cancelled (or we lose Game 7 of a Stanley Cup Finals).  This is a city that is called both No Fun City and Vansterdam, stuck in its Victorian ways yet wildly progressive.  With these extremes, no wonder the city's temperament sits firmly in the middle.  
  
I love the views.  I love the way the sports teams almost seem to finally make it big before imploding in one way or another.  I love the way people who visit me from out of town react when they experience Stanley Park's Seawall for the first time.  I love the way everyone seems to come from somewhere else, and yet calls this city home. Come on in, and make yourself at home too. 

Over the years, I've found myself in some dark, deep caverns.  I'm not talking about the heavily trafficked tourist attractions where a red gel light illuminates some rock that may or may not look like a breastfeeding alligator.   No, these are the caves where you truly get a sense of the subterranean world, too dark for a sliver of light, so quiet you can hear the blood rushing past your eardrums.    Some caves have been holy, others have been wet, while others somehow host life, like glow worms, bats, and butt-ugly blind scorpion spiders.  Here are some of my pics and experiences from Turkey, Malaysia, New Zealand, the Cook Islands, Hungary and beyond.   

The Tour de France

Three weeks and 3500km – think of it as the ultimate European road trip.   The world’s most famous bicycle race pushes its competitors to the very edge of endurance (it has been compared to climbing three Everests and running a dozen marathons) but for the travelling circus that follows the riders, it’s just a great excuse to experience beautiful French countryside.  It typically starts in a neighbouring country before the pelotan makes its way throughout France, with stops in Barcelona and little-known gems like Andorra.   Following the caravan, you can expect to meet outrageous characters and encounter millions of people who line the route. 

Tennis

The four main events or ATP Grand Slams are held in Melbourne, Paris, London and New York.  Each tournament offers something unique for the tennis traveller.  Melbourne is a sports-mad city, enjoying scorching temperatures often resulting in heat-breaks for the players. The crowd loves the underdogs, and  the shade of their umbrellas.  Roland Garros in Paris is played on red clay, with the French always rooting for homegrown players.  Join them, and you might find a great improvement in service!  Wimbledon is the most traditional of the Slams, suffused with strawberries and cream, champagne, and overnight line-ups.   New York is the most daring, with arguably the most vocal crowd, and stadiums packed with celebrities. 

Formula One

Speed, money and power converge in the world’s richest sport, the highest class of auto racing, precision, technology and driving skill.   There are between 17 and 20 FIA Grand Prix’s held each year, in destinations as diverse as Malaysia, Hungary, Brazil, and Turkey.  For weeks before, cities like Shanghai, Singapore and Abu Dhabi get caught up in the frenzy, wooing massive crowds cheering on their Ferrari, McLaren and Red Bull favourites.   Billions of dollars are spent on cars every year, capable of achieving speeds of up to 360 km/hr with an ear shattering roar.  My pick is Monte Carlo, home of a famed street circuit lined with stylish crowds, overlooked by the world’s wealthy elite.   Indy Car and NASCAR races also deliver their own thrills and atmosphere.  Don’t forget to pack a pair of earplugs! 

FIFA World Cup

Every four years, over a four-week period, the best national teams in the world join together to battle for the greatest prize in football.  For a sport that crosses the widest of social and economic divides, the World Cup Finals is nothing short of a religious holiday.  Business shut, traffic vanishes, and nearly a billion people tune in the most watched sporting event in the world.  In 2014, soccer-mad Brazil once again hosts the finals, the biggest sporting event in the world.  It’s a unique moment in the country's modern history, where adventurous travellers will be able to experience the best of the country. 

The Olympics

Both the Summer and Winter Olympic Games is a wonderful opportunity to celebrate the world coming together.  Host cities spend spend billions on construction and infrastructure upgrades to host what is effectively a non-stop party.    Being able to support Team Canada (and Team South Africa) is secondary to the spirit of the event.   

The Kentucky Derby

It’s billed as the “Most Exhilarating Two Minutes in Sport”,  a thoroughbred horserace that has captured the imagination of the world.    Inaugurated in 1875, the race is the main draw card for a two-week long Kentucky Derby festival that includes the Great Balloon Race, the Great Steamboat Race, and an assortment of music and cultural events.   Writer Hunter S Thompson once used the race to capture the essence of the American south, and visitors might take heed when they read his seminal “The Kentucky Derby is Decadent and Depraved”.      Whatever you find in Kentucky, soaked in its mint juleps and tradition, chances are it will be a world away from the world’s richest horserace, the Dubai Gold Cup.

Golf

The four major golf tournaments create a sporting mecca for both players and fans.    The US Masters in Augusta, the Open Championship in St Andrews, the US Open and PGA Championship bring the world’s best players together, along with those that would pay good money to see men hit little white balls into little shallow holes.  Securing a ticket is expensive, or sometimes not even possible.  The Masters only makes tickets available to club patrons, but you can enter a lottery to see Tiger Woods on the practice rounds.    If golf is your ticket, it might be easier to attend one of the less prestigious Open tournaments, held in over two-dozen countries annually.  

Surfing

Following the pro-surfing or windsurfing circuit combines two crucial elements for the weary sport traveller: the atmosphere of a major sporting event, with the bonus of being on some of the most beautiful beaches in the world.    Throw in string bikinis and tanned hunky surfers, and one could do worse than hop on the ASP World Tour, annually visiting top beach towns in Brazil, Tahiti, Australia, South Africa, Spain and France. 

Cricket

I don’t have the space to explain the rules of cricket.  Yes, test cricket can last five days without crowning a winner, and yes, there is a position called the Silly Mid-On.  Hugely popular in England, Sri Lanka, Pakistan, India, South Africa, Australia and the West Indies, if you ever find yourself in one of those countries with the opportunity to catch a match, do so.  As a local explains the rules (which are quite easy once you slow down a bit) you can soak in an electrifying atmosphere of exploding cherry bombs (South Asia), steel drums (West Indies), BBQ’d boerewors (South Africa) or beer swilling songs (Australia).   When India meets Pakistan, it’s nothing less than two countries at war, the tension so thick it could bowl you over. 

                                                     Originally Published on Sympatico.ca

Take it from me, there’s a lot of weird events out there.   Fun stuff, but weird.   Many of these festivals below have roots stretching back hundreds of years, which is ample proof that people have always needed an outlet to release their communal energy, or maybe just to leap over screaming babies.   Most countries have a festival that belongs on my list, but these are my personal favourites: 

UNITED KINGDOM

Cheese Rolling at Cooper’s Hill
Take a wheel of Double Gloucester cheese and roll it down a steep, muddy hill.    Fun I know, but the cheese doesn’t have to stop there.  Allow 20 guys at a time to chase the wheel to the bottom.   By chase, I mean a head over shoulders, slipping, sliding, bone crunching, joint smashing descent into certain physical discomfort.   After several rounds of competition, the fastest guy to the bottom wins great honour, and presumably a lot of cheese.   Dating back 200 years, this annual event in England’s Cotswold region has become so popular organizers have had to cancel it in 2010 for safety reasons.  That’s OK, you can always head over to Whistler, BC, which has started it’s own Canadian Cheese Rolling Festival.

World Bog Snorkelling Championship
Swimming races are far more interesting when competitors have to navigate a murky peat bog.   An annual event held near the small town of Llanwrtyd Wells in Wales, competitors must kick their way forward through a 55m trench, twice, in the fastest time possible.   This popular event has expanded into a bog mountain bike race, and even a bog triathlon.   I’d tell you more about it, but don’t want to bog you down with the details.

World Toe Wrestling Championship
There’s no reason to trip over the puns at this unique event, which attracts the feet of competitors from around the world.  Opponents toe-off during a toe-down, with the goal to force each other’s feet off the toe-dium.  If your little piggies are getting slaughtered, you can forfeit by crying “toe much!”  Seriously.    Rules are governed by the World Toe Wrestling Organization, and champion Toeminator Paul Beech is, I imagine, someone you do not want to get into a round of footsies with.  The event takes place at the Bentley Brooke Inn in Ashbourne, everyone is welcome, and all proceeds go to charity.   Toe-tally worth it then.

JAPAN

The Naked Festival
The origins of the Hadaki Matsuri date back to the 7th century, a communal act of ritual cleansing and purification.    There are variations around Japan, taking place in summer or winter, but the gist of it is that men get naked (save for optional loin cloth and sandals) and go bananas. The Shinotoko, a highly honoured Naked Man, walks amongst the crowd who, with one touch, can expel your bad energy.   The crowd heave their way towards the Shintoko in the hope of touching his skin, while officials throw mud or water to calm and cleanse the masses.  Nothing gets rid of bad vibes like being naked with thousands of other guys, all going bezerk.   Nothing. 

Rolling Wood: Onbashira and Danjiri Matsuri are two different festivals with a similar premise. Large wooden objects are rolled, dragged and pushed through crowded streets.  Danjiri are decorated wooden carts built by proud carpenters demonstrating their skill, which does not extend to cart pulling, since carts often reach tremendous speeds, topple over, and occasionally kill someone.  Onbashira takes place in the Nagano region, as tall trees are cut down and rolled down a mountain to revitalize an ancient shrine.   Huge rolling logs, steep hills, large crowds – what could go wrong?

USA

Testicle Festival
Not everyone has the balls to enjoy the Testicle Festival, taking place annually in Montana.  After visiting Testy Fest in Missoula,  I can confirm that the taste is not unlike liver, which makes sense, since both originate from vital organs.  Vital for me, anyway.  The Testy Festy seems to attract a lot of drunk bikers, who clearly have what it takes to consume the vast amounts of oysters and “turkey fries” on offer.  Given this unsavoury element, visitors might take special care to protect the family jewels.

Summer Redneck Games
The town of East Dublin Georgia hosts the annual Redneck Games, featuring events such as The Cigarette Flip, the Mud Pit Belly Flop, Hubcap Hurling, Big Hair, and of course, a Wet T shirt contest.   Originating in 1996 as a response to a DJ’s comment that rednecks were hosting the Olympics in Atlanta, the Redneck Games now attract thousands of people every year, with all money raised being donated to charity.  If your family tree doesn’t branch and you’ve got a natural knack at Bobbin for Pig’s Feet, head on down to Georgia.  A legion of fans await.

SPAIN & PORTUGAL

Bullfighting on a Rope
Think running with bulls is impressive?   On the island of Terceira in the Azores, they let their kids run with bulls on the beach!   Bulls form the backbone of the annual Festival of St John.  I experienced this first hand, including a thrilling bolt down a boxed-in street as a 600kg monster charged ahead in his quest to make mincemeat of anyone standing in his way. Unlike Spain, where bulls are killed in bullfighting, Portuguese bullfighting-on-a-rope spares the creature’s life.     Several men hold back the bull from a safe distance connected with a long rope.   Kids run safely into the sea, while on the streets, only the bravest men taunt the bull by running up close enough to touch it.   Braver men than I, I might add. 

Baby Jumping
In the Spanish village of Castrillo de Mercia, locals celebrate Corpus Christi by taking a running jump.   Harmless enough, unless you place half a dozen helpless babies beneath them, which on a list like this, you bet they do.  El Colacho, as it is known, dates back to 1620, when people were also known to burn witches at the stake. This tradition continues however, as men dressed like the devil jump over rows of babies, laying bewildered on a mattress.  It’s a symbolic attempt to chase away evil, and clear a path for a healthy life.  Providing the jumper clears the mattress, of course. 

La Tomatina
50,000 people. 100 tons of overripe tomatoes.   A tradition that encourages throwing tomatoes at everybody and anybody as hard as you can?  La Tomatina takes place the final Wednesday of August every year in the Spanish town of Bunul.  Travel tip: Goggles help with the acidic tomato juice running into your eyes, and  don’t wear an expensive suit. If you’d prefer to change the colour, the Italian festival of Ivrea uses oranges instead of tomatoes.   And elsewhere, children go hungry.   Just saying….

CANADA

The Giant Omelette
Seven cities around the world join together annually to make a 5000-egg omelette, harking back to the Napoleonic era. Canada is ably represented by Granby in Quebec, joining towns in France, Belgium, New Caledonia and Argentina. The idea is to create a giant omelette, which is then fed to the community, free of charge.   According the official website: “It has also become the symbol of a world-wide fraternity, rich in friendship, tradition and cultural exchange, known as the Confrerie.”  Somewhere in the world, there must be a giant toast festival.   If we bring in the tomatoes from Spain and pigs from the Rednecks in Georgia, we can start a new festival:  Esrock’s Big Breakfast World Championship.  

FINLAND

Finland deserves their own entry, because their festivals are so wonderfully bizarre you have to give credit where it’s due. 

Wife Carrying World Championships
Its origins supposedly date back to that marvelously romantic custom of attacking a village and carrying away your future wife.   He who runs fastest, or with the best technique (like the Estonian legs around the neck maneuver) presumably outran an enraged father not too far behind.   The event takes place every year in Sonkajärvi, as competitors race across a 252m obstacle course.  The wife does not have to be your own, but must be at least 17 years old, and weigh a minimum of 49kgs.    Every summer, competitors come from all over the world, and the sport has spread to the United States, where apparently it is a lot simpler than dealing with divorce lawyers. 

Finnish Sauna World Championships
If you can’t stand the heat, don’t compete. Sauna is deeply entrenched in Finnish culture, so it makes sense that the country would host the World Championships.  Starting off at a cool 110C, water is poured on the rocks every 30 seconds until there is but one person remaining, able to walk out, unassisted.   Everyone else presumably melts away.   Competitors from 20 countries now attend this annual event in the town of Heinola, although naturally Finns dominate.  I once spent two minutes on the top shelf of a public sauna in Helsinki, and saliva started to boil in my mouth.  Yes. That is true. 

World Cell Phone Throwing Championships
There’s a fuzzy connection between the country that gave us Nokia, and professional cell phone throwing competitions. But hey, this sport is dialed in.  Depending on the event, athletes are given the same phone, and must throw the phone behind their shoulder as far as they can.  A freestyle event awards points for creativity (no word if you get extra points for hitting the idiot who can’t explain why your roaming charges tally the GDP of Ghana).    The World Championships take place every August in Savonlinna, and millions of people around the world are practicing every day, they just don’t know it. 

Mosquito Killing World Championships
I’ve seen the mosquitoes in the Finnish summer.  They’re more like bloodsucking vultures, hunting in packs.   The WKMC takes place annually in the town of Pelkosenniemi. No chemicals or machines allowed.   Competitors only have five minutes to extract revenge, even as the mosquitoes extract their blood.  There’s also a mosquito swatting event held in Italy, and probably at every lake cottage in Canada during the summer months.